u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize