I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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