We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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