I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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