I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
