Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
