I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
