we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
