Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
