I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
