You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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