I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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