Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
