I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
