Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
