it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
