my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
