So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
