i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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