You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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