he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
