Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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