I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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