I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
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