I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
