Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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