you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
bring money and cleavage
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
