I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
