So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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