I'm jealous of your bromance
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
