I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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