I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
