The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
