Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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