If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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