Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
