It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
