sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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