She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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