So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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