the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize