it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
