I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
