i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
