someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
where does the pee come out of this thing
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
