I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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