i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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