I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
