We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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