it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
