i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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