5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
