Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
