I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
