hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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