Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
