Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
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