why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
